The pagan idea that love encompasses exclusively positive emotions brought a lot of suffering to many people. Unconditional love is above the duality and includes the suffering in itself: separation, periods of patience, and so on.
To be successful in love, one needs to become a whole person. This requires spiritual growth, which leads to self-sufficiency. Western approach, being based on self-persuasion «I am the most successful, I am the favorite,» is ineffective in this case.
- The real success in love is the ability to maintain a sense of love, even when we lose a loved one, a relationship, our health or when we reach the great material success or experience strong positive emotions (when the pendulum swings the other way).
The first reaction is gratitude in every situation. How we manage to maintain a sense of love in a crisis is how we are able to feel gratitude even in tougher times.
If we are able to keep love inside, then on the external level the situation is resolved much easier.
To be successful in the material world, you need to get rid of discontent and pretense to your life, your fate, the people around you and to the circumstances. We are successful in love when we are able to maintain this feeling not only in periods of heavy losses, unhappiness or grief, but on the contrary, during the hours of joy or euphoria of luck or from an acquisition.
This is an indicator of our spiritual level — the ability to keep Love in all situations.
- The second component of a real success in love is how much we are willing to serve selflessly to all living beings, and above all to our loved ones. Love All, Serve All.
In our time, that one is great who has achieved something on an external level. But all of that is temporary. It’s just working our karma off; it does not make a man fully happy.
We can always serve, even if we are paralyzed. We can always give something, if not as a physical action then as a mental one. The main thing in personal serving is a selfless attitude when we do something for others.
Serving can be a compliment, a kind word, and sometimes as a service we should say “no” to a person. But if it is done in a spirit of serving, with no selfish motive, then it will bring us closer to the Divine.
The spirit of serving can be grown by asking this question : «Whom did I serve today?»
Happiness comes to us when we serve selflessly. In a couple, people are happy when they serve to each other. When we are ready to serve our loved one, we are even ready to leave them if they want that.
People, who find it hard to serve, usually have more difficulties in their personal life, because subconsciously they do not want to serve to their children, family, spouse and to all living beings.
- Readiness for a true love depends on the ability to endure pain. The more a person is willing to endure pain, the more they are ready to experience unconditional love, the more love they will be finally given. True love is given to those who are willing to endure pain. Therefore, we must not be afraid of the pain.
Most people, when on the threshold of death, do not regret what they have not achieved in their life, but they regret that they were not showing love and not talking about it to their loved ones. Why didn’t I live by the desires of my soul?
The most important is how you do it: with a sense of love or without it. How you act: from your selfishness or from your heart. Within this choice is the true success in life.
The reasons of unhappy personal life in women:
- lack of femininity;
- lots of fears inside;
- problems with parents;
- making complaints and pretenses;
- previous defiling sexual relations.
Rami Bleckt, from the book «Two wives».