QUESTION: Rami, please tell us how to find peace of mind when in not very favourable circumstances? I am, more or less, a strong person and most of the time I am, as they say, the possessor of a calm mind. But in some extreme situations, unfortunately, I often find that in the consulting room, when meeting a difficult client or a difficult person, my calmness is lost. What advice can you give to people who find themselves susceptible to such circumstances?
RAMI BLECKT: Thank you. Good question. In my opinion, the vast majority of people have such a susceptibility. But the fact that you basically have a calm and peaceful mind, is already good. Obviously, only sages, like saints or enlightened yogis, can manage crises or communicate with difficult people completely calmly. So, what is the conclusion? We need to be closer to the saints. Who is a saint? One who is filled with Unconditional Love for God. What is Unconditional Love for God? It is seeing God everywhere and in everything.
The Vedas say that seeing God in everything, developing Love for Him, is the realm of the Spiritual level. For example, a difficult client comes to you, but you see it like God has come to you! And be respectful inside. Outwardly, if the client is angry or shouts, you can ask him to leave or speak more quietly. But talk politely, with a smile, accept him, do not take it personally. When do problems start? When we start thinking, “Oh, he said I’m stupid or looked unfavourably at me”, Well, he said… So what! Be more flexible inside. And when we see God in every person and treat him with love, interesting things begin to happen.
The vast majority of people around us start to treat us differently. You have probably noticed that in the classroom, educational institutions, or at work, different people are treated differently. A boss may inexplicably treat someone well and another person badly. Not just a boss, even other employees as well. It depends on the inner state of consciousness. If you have a loving attitude and desire to serve everyone, and you can contain your ego, then you will see that all problems are solved quite easily.
On the other hand, indeed, we live in a world where there are many selfish, envious people. If you work with such people, try to take a shower after work, calm down, read the scriptures, sing mantras, or pray. When you communicate with a difficult person, do not look into his eyes because when you look into the pupils, you exchange energy. Look at the bridge of the nose. While he speaks, just be aware, conscious, observe your breathing, and wish him Divine Love.
How can we immediately calm the mind and return to the state of the here and now? Begin to be aware of your breathing. When we watch our breathing, our mind becomes quiet. Just send Divine Love to this person and listen carefully to him.
One person who had been engaged in various Vedic practices for many years told me, “Until I came to know about this rule from Eastern Psychology, I argued and swore. Once, my parents began to shout at me because I did not go to college but left for India. And I calmly accepted this situation, sent them Love. I noticed that they could only continue that way for a maximum of ten minutes, and then they even apologized. After some time, they stopped scolding me at all and, on the contrary, treated me with respect”.
If we do not have aggression and resistance inside of us, a person’s energy passes us by and does not increase.
If an angry person comes and shouts and you go to his level, become angry as well, you lose. If you have influenced him with your calmness and peacefulness, you will see that most people rise to your level and most problems go away.
From Rami‘s interview «Why do bad things happen to good people?» from a radio broadcast in Chicago.