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WE DON’T GET TO CHOOSE OUR PARENTS… OR DO WE?

We came into this world because of our parents. It is not as important when that happened, what age were the parents, or what circumstances surrounded your birth. More important is what is happening between our parents and ourselves today.

 
In many psychotherapy sessions, people cry when the time comes to talk about parents, and/or scenarios from childhood. Many people cannot forgive, understand or accept parents. They carry the their pain and grievances their whole life. The severity of the hurt of a small child is independent of the severity of the situations. Similar pain can be experienced due to physical abuse, or when parents handed over the child to grandparents for upbringing due to busy work schedules. 
 
This world has energy of the past, present and future. Parents are the representatives of the past.  Therefore, aggression towards parents cuts off the support of our ancestors. This is a huge loss. In ancient civilizations family was always the first priority, as it was responsible for giving support at all times. One saintly person, even 3 or 5 generations before you, may be able to protect you from many troubles. Thus, if a person has a broken line of support from his family and ancestors, he will not be able to create a harmonious family of his own, or build a successful career, or even have good health. 
 
This world of duality always has opposites: cold-hot, good-bad, black-white. The main duality of this world is still the masculine and feminine. This duality defines everything in this world. Even trees and stones fall under this energetic discernment. A human being is a result of the interaction of ying and yang, a combination of feminine and masculine. It is important to have these energies in balance.
 
For any human being the first and foremost representative of the Divine are masculine and feminine energy sources represented by the father and the mother, respectively. Thus any type of aggression, offence, inner non-acceptance, or disrespect are very dangerous. Disrespect and disdain towards parents and ancestors allows one to receive only negative energy. However, respect and service towards parents blocks this negative energy and gives access to positive energy of our ancestors and the grace of God.
 
On the outer level relationship with parents may be normal, but if you look deep within, you may be able to see subconscious programs of grievances and aggression. Overall our life is ruled by subconscious programs, which we acquire in our childhood. The character of a child and his relationship with the world is established in the first 2-3 years of his life. Often the subconscious hurts are hidden deep inside us, as it easier to forget about these, rather than feel the pain from memories.
 
Yet, honor and respect for parents, your relationship with parents, all of them together form the foundation of your destiny.
 
How can you discern which subconscious programs are running your life?
 
The subconscious programs can be identified by the following cases:
  • You are an orphan or one of your parents is missing from the picture, 
  • Your family life is out of harmony,
  • You can’t establish a good relationship with your children, 
  • You call your parents less often than once a week, 
  • You find yourself not taking responsibility for your own life,
  • You hurt your parents with words or with lack of attention and respect.
If you find yourself often falling sick, this will be also related to an issue with parents. Our mother is the Divine Feminine, our father the Divine Masculine. The left part of the body is linked to feminine energy, and the right to masculine energy. Many Eastern doctors make an observation during diagnosis on which side of the body of a patient is aching more, and then they find the cause of the disease. Ponder over this: how were women and men were treated in your family? Were there ancestral problems, repeated from generation to generation? If yes, you need to step up and break the vicious circle. This will allow you to live a happy and harmonious life.
 
The divine energy comes to us only through parents. And many of us may be blocking this flow.
 
HONOR YOUR PARENTS
 
Buddha said that even if we serve our parents our entire life, we will not have enough time to repay our debt towards them. If you think that your parents are leading a wrong life, just remember that they gave you life. We get only those parents whom we deserve; those who are the best for us to work through our karmic tasks. Many of us think that parents are very conservative, and are not able to perceive new information. Yet think that all religions say the same, «Honor your parents.» without any additional conditions.
 
SERVE YOUR ANCESTORS
 
Be of service to your family, make them happy. One may say, «I must take case of my mother, I will buy her a new car as she was asking for it for a long time.» Note that it is not only about material support. The most important thing is the feeling behind your action. It is best to hug your Mom, say some kind words to her, and then provide her your gift of the car.  
 
Remember to live «here and now.» The first thing you can do for your ancestors is to work on your own spiritual progress. Secondly, help your family members to get closer to the Unconditional Love. If they have bad habits (alcohol or nicotine dependence), do your best to inspire them with the benefit of a healthy lifestyle, but do it in a very subtle way, without dogmatism or aggression. Unconditional Love is the most important aspect of relationship with parents. Honor and respect them. Treat their shortcomings with humor. Be graceful and tactful. And if your parents get offended, remember that offence is merely a manipulation method.
 
LOVE FROM A DISTANCE
 
In the case of constant quarrels and conflicts at home between parents, never get involved in these, as you will absorb the negative energy. Visit your parents, bring some treats, take them out for a walk, but spend as little time as possible in their house, and don’t bring in your children. Is it dirty in your mother’s house? Then clean the house or hire a house-cleaner! Most importantly accept your parents the way they are. Be attached to your parents at the heart level. Time and space are the limitations which exist only at the mind level. There is an energy connection between parents and children, which is way more important, regardless of whether the parent is alive or not.
 
ASK FOR BLESSINGS
 
There are situations when a wonderful couple loves each other. But if one of the parents is against the union and did not offer their blessings, the future of this new family could be quite problematic. Do your best to receive as many blessings from your mother and father. You may even ask your parents to say out loud: «I/We bless you to have a happy life».
 
For a woman it is very important to earn the respect and love of her in-laws. Her mother-in-law becomes a second, karmic mother. She must be accepted and understood. If there is tension in the relationship between the two, then you need to do some inner work, especially if you all live in the same house. It is very important to have harmonious energy in the house, as it will infuse the health of the children, and all family members. Success of your personal endeavors will also depend on this energy.
 
If there is a difficulty in establishing a harmonious relationship between the wife and mother-in-law, the husband must find a separate house for his family, as he takes on the responsibility of his wife.
 
What can you do if the wife’s mother-in-law is refusing to build a good relationship? Try techniques to get rid of grievances. Never judge or condemn the mother-in-law. You must say, «If my mother-in-law doesn’t like me, I must have attracted this situation somehow». Learn how to earn love and respect. If you want your mother-in-law to bless you, give her gifts, serve her, offer help to her. Ask her, what can you do for her, for her son. When someone is serving you, one way or the other you get the desire to bless them. If necessary, devote a year of your life to earn those blessings. You must do, while maintaining harmony within yourself. When we have harmony within, we will always find a way to people’s hearts.
 
What if you tried but failed? In that case don’t condemn your mother-in-law. And don’t allow yourself to feel bad or become resentful because of this. You did all you could do. May be you will get a better result or better luck later.
 
ANALYZE YOUR FAMILY HISTORY
 
Take some time to analyze the problems that come up in your family’s ancestral history. There may be a common theme of women being abandoned by their husbands. Your personal life may not be doing well either. This means that your female ancestral relations (eg. mother, grandmother, and so on) had certain unfulfilled expectations from their husbands. The disappointments of those unmet expectations in turn made the women aggressive towards their husbands. Someone  needs to handle this aggression related energy for the benefit of previous and future generations. That someone is most likely you, as you are reading this article, and received this specific type of knowledge. From one perspective it is a difficult task, but another, if you do this, there will be enormous support from your ancestors. I have observed it multiple times that when a woman solves problems with her parents, in 2 to 3 months her personal life begins to change for the better.
 
HOW TO FORGIVE PARENTS
 
The method of clearing subconscious offences has been checked on thousands of people. It is very simple, and highly effective.
 
Use your left hand to write 3 sentences:
 
My dear father, (name, for example: Steve), please forgive me for everything.
My dear father (name: e.g. Steve), I forgive you for everything.
My dear father (name: e.g. Steve) I am grateful for everything.
 
We activate the right hemisphere of our brain by writing with our left hand. The right hemisphere is responsible for the subconscious, intuition and creativity. 95-98% of the time we live on our subconscious level and act based on the programs inscribed there. All our subconscious programs are in the right hemisphere. So by writing the above statements with the left hand, we re-write the old program with a new one.
 
After you write these sentences, please bow (i.e., prostrate) in front of a photo of your parent(s). The full bow clears you from inner aggression, gives humility and respect for parents, and the positive energy starts flowing through you, filling you with happiness. While prostrating, the head (the brain, the mind, the ego) are lower than the heart. This is very important. Anyone can do any mind exercises, but our relationship with our parents is done at the level of the heart.
 
It is best to write and bow to one parent at a time, 60 days each. You can prostrate in front of the picture or by just visualizing a person in your mind. It does not matter if the parents are alive or dead, live close-by or at a distance. It all works on the ethereal, energy level. The prostration or the bow is said to be done when you have 7 points of your body on the floor (forehead, both palms, both knees and both feet). After performing one prostration, please get up into a standing position. This is ONE round of the prostration/bow. Do a minimum of 10, or as many as your physical stamina allows. Our students perform 108 bows per day.
 
We recommend prostrating to the father on a Sunday 108 times, as Sunday is associated with the sun, the father and Divine Masculine. On Mondays you bow 108 times for the mother, as Monday, the moon, is the Divine Feminine, the mother. It is best to start this series on a waxing moon. Start for Mom on a Monday, start bowing to Dad on a Sunday.
 
We highly recommend that you work with both parents’ energy. Do this even if you think you have wonderful relationship with them. They gave you life. Even if you have never seen your parents, it is a great way to reconnect to this energy. Just imagine them. 
 
For a woman, her husband’s parents become her second parents.
 
This technique is excellent for any person in your life, especially if you feel frustration, anger, offence or aggression.
 
Additional Practical Recommendations
 
Do not skip days while doing this program. Write the above statements daily, and even better all of them together. If you skipped a day or two, catch up with the deficit. But if 2 days or more were missed start all over again. Do this with utmost concentration and from the depth of your heart. Do not dwell in the past or think about the future. 
 
Be here and now.
 
It is suggested for a woman to start bowing to her father first, then to her mother. For a man we recommend the reverse: first work with your mother, then the father,
When you do one person at a time, old memories and energy will come up. There may be tears, pain, sorrow, etc. If you try to do both parents simultaneously you will be without support for a prolonged time.
 
Do this thoughtfully.
 
If the situation with your parents is challenging, increase the length of the exercise. Or repeat the cycle again.
 
The results of this technique will come to fruition. It is usually a very personal and sensitive process, and very few can share it first hand. 
 
The result is that an enormous ancestral energy starts giving you support and protection. Fears fade away, a lot of things are able to manifest, relationships in your life start improving. Sometime parents (that were missing) appear, and relatives that were not in the picture come into your life. It happened that father stops drinking and starts calling his kids and pay child support, while women get married. And many more «miracles» occur.


Our relationship with out parents is our choice. Our present and future is in our hands!
 
With love,
Rami Bleckt